It should come as no surprise to most that our sexual lives as DINKs are generally far more exciting than those of our parental counterparts. We can devote more free time to learning each other’s deepest desires, we have the opportunity to enjoy more impromptu acts of sex, as well as the freedom to keep pornography freely displayed and enjoyed in various forms around the house, far from the prying eyes of children. With all of that pornographic freedom, coupled with the bad press porn perpetually seems to generate, it’s natural to wonder if porn poses a threat to our otherwise impenetrable DINK power couple bond. Unsurprisingly, there is a plethora of opinions on pornography’s role in society and interpersonal relationships. In order to sift through the melee and find an answer, it is essential to focus on one portion of the debate: is porn potentially damaging to romantic relationships, and in what ways? 

Let’s begin by examining some of the concerning aspects of porn from a few voices on the anti-porn standpoint before we switch gears and take in the viewpoints of those who believe that porn is simply not as bad as it’s cracked up to be.

The Naysayers

Ana J. Bridges PHD: Porn vs. Love

According to Ana J. Bridges, PhD, a faculty member of the Department of Psychology, University of Arkansas, exposure to hypersexual depictions of sex and the exaggerated depictions of porn stars may lead to a lack of satisfaction with one’s own partner. In Pornography's Effects on Interpersonal Relationships, Dr. Bridges explains how there is a direct association between the use of pornography and dissatisfaction in romantic relationships. The danger extends even to limited or experimental exposure of mainstream pornographic depictions, which “…create negative consequences for males’ evaluations of their romantic partner’s attractiveness and how in love with them they feel.” When examined in contrast with men who watched a neutral film, the men who’d been exposed to the pornographic imagery “…subsequently rated themselves as less in love with their romantic partner.” 

Dr. Norman Doidge: It’s addicting

In The Brain that Changes Itself, Dr. Norman Doidge explains how pornography can be just so addictive. He points out that addictions are not limited to drugs and alcohol, that serious addicts show a loss of control over the activity, despite negative consequences, and that they need higher levels of stimulation for satisfaction. Dr. Doidge says that dopamine is involved in the “plastic change” of the brain’s makeup. The same surge of dopamine that thrills us also consolidates the neuronal connections responsible for the behaviors that led us to accomplish our goal.

He goes on to explain that our brains have two separate pleasure systems: one that is responsible for exciting pleasure and one for satisfying pleasure. The first relates to the “appetitive” pleasure we get imagining something we desire, and its neurochemistry is largely dopamine-related, and it raises our tension level. The latter is associated with the act of consummatory pleasure, which accompanies the feelings we get when we actually engage in the desired behaviors. Its neurochemistry is based on the release of endorphins, which are related to opiates and provide a euphoric bliss.

Dr. Doidge explains that “Pornography, by offering an endless harem of sexual objects, hyperactivates the appetitive system. Porn viewers develop new maps in their brains, based on the photos and videos they see. Because it is a use-it-or-lose-it brain, when we develop a map area, we long to keep it activated.”

[Continued...The Advocates]