Stories 

Whether it’s sailing the South Pacific, landing your dream job or closing on a sweet pad, every DINK has a story; post your story.

DINKin' it up in SoCal

My husband Drew and I met five years ago on MySpace– a fact that makes me feel about a thousand years old, and also a complete creep. We keep meaning to come up with a better story, but haven’t gotten around to it yet. Now that the wedding’s passed and we’ve been thoroughly embarrassed by it in the toasts, it seems like a moot point.

We’re both from Indiana, but met in Los Angeles where we now live in an outrageously overpriced condo with our two cats, Jacques and Olivia. Making the leap from the Midwest to Southern California was a night-and-day sort of thing for a variety of reasons (being able to obtain salads not comprised solely of iceberg lettuce, etc.). But one of the most important for DINKs is the difference in attitudes with regards to having babies.

Growing up in a suburb outside of Indianapolis, I was pretty sure my life was on the following trajectory: get engaged my senior year of college (leaving the previous three years open for debauchery!), married my first year out of college, and first baby by 23. (!!!!!!!!!!!!) It was just how people did things there.

My. How things have changed. As each of those milestones hit, I found myself cringing at the thought of actually having to follow through on them. I was still a kid! The palm trees started calling, so I packed all my worldly possessions into my Honda Accord - around the same time Drew was doing the same with his Toyota Corolla - and made the 2,000-plus mile trek out to California.

It was far and away the best decision I’ve ever made. Everyone out here seems to be having too much fun to think about having babies anytime soon. So for the moment, we’re surrounded by DINKs. And despite being thirty, we all get to act like children – playing adult kickball, attending way too many elaborate costume parties, nearly killing ourselves on dangerous barcycles. It’s a very active lifestyle here and we’re always pulling together big group trips to ski in Big Bear or go camping at Lake Cachuma. We’re making sure to take advantage of these things now before our friends start having kids!

Though we love being DINKs - and thinking about all the opportunities the DINK lifestyle affords - we do still have those ever-present nagging doubts. Would we someday regret not popping out a few Cheerio-encrusted ankle-biters? I even created a blog to chronicle our decision-making process on the whole kids thing (www.MaybeBabyMaybeNot.com) - drop on by if you want to see how we’re doing, or just vent about other people’s kids!

PS, Drew wanted me to let you all know that we’re not technically DINKs anymore since I just quit my job earlier this year to pursue writing full-time. One of the many advantages of not having kids: being able to follow your dreams without (too much) financial strain.

Is there a site for SINKs? ;)

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COMMENTS:

Thanks for sharing your story. It is very inspirational to me to find someone who relocated to SoCal and loves the lifestyle. It is my dream to do exactly what you did.

Great story! I just wanted to add my two cents about your comment that you wonder if you'll ever regret not procreating: I am adamantly childfree and have NEVER met another childfree-by-choice person who regretted it. I have, however, come across many parents (some through "I hate being a mommy" forums online and some in person) who have secretly confessed to me that they regret their decision. A few mommies have even practically begged me not to have a child: "Don't do it, trust me. It's a lot of work for zero reward."

Having a child is permanent--you will never be able to change your mind. You can't take it back--it's not like returning a Christmas gift. If your child is a little shit, or is hyper, blind, has Down Syndrome, cerebral palsy, cystic fibrosis, autism, ADD, or any other potentially emotional issue, you're STUCK WITH IT FOREVER. Accommodations, occupational therapists, and specialists cost a fortune.

The best parents EVER are those who BOTH want a child (not just one parent), will do anything and everything for that child, will love it unconditionally, and are 100% willing to spend $275,000 from birth to 18 years raising it.

Just keep telling yourself; it's PERMANENT. If your child ends up being an obnoxious brat, you're stuck. But when you're childfree, you're never stuck!

Lol...myspace!? Enjoyed reading your story...glad you made it to the promised land! And best of luck pursuing your dream to write - there's no time like the present, right?


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