Wow, that's just rude for people to ask. It's really a personal preference, and it's almost like asking why one has not converted to a certain religion. Fortunately, I haven't been asked this question, but I probably would have said that "I am an individual whose existence does not depend on a husband, nor does my accomplishments, and frankly, none of your business". :)

I didn't change my name for the same reasons as you. The only person that seemed the least bit defensive about it was someone I know that had taken there husband's last name at marriage, and then subsequently cheated on him and took him for all he was worth.This woman said to me, "Oh, you're not taking your man's name? That's supposed to be an honor, you're becoming one! Yes, my view regarding that is a bit different. I view my husband and I as two individuals that share love, rather than "one". my husband was totally cool with me keeping my birth name, he's so not the macho type; he's very sensitive and sweet. I did suggest to him prior to our wedding, that maybe we could take each other's last names as second middle names. He said, " It's one thing if you're keeping your name, but I'm not taking my wife's name." haha. Anyway, you're not the only one that chose to keep your birth name. It's who you are. I've gone through the same thing with people putting my hubby's last name on invites and the like. I gently remind them that my husband and I have different last names. The few times people have questioned why I kept my name I tell them, "changing my never felt like the right option for me personally, keeping my birth name is something my husband supported fully, and I really respect him for allowing me to be me."
that is after all, who he fell in love with me as myself, not as an extension of him :)

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I just dropped my last name, and go by my first and middle. I've been doing it professionally for quite a while and don't see why I should lose it. My sister kept her name too.

I didn't change my name, either. It just didn't make sense to me to throw away the name I'd grown up with to take someone else's. My husband felt the same way (he would have thought it was strange for me to change my name).

I guess it's a subjective perspective. Because when we were married in 1993, my wife never changed her name and we never even considered it. She is an independent person in her life, and always has been. It made no sense for her to change her name and identity simply because we were married. Now when we meet any smart and independent women who HAVE changed their name due to marriage, it seems a little strange to us. That's why I say it's a subjective perspective, because it really depends on where you are coming from personally with how you react to the whole name change issue. Most of our friends who have gotten married over the last decade or two have not changed their names...so that seems like the new standard for us. But I suppose to people who are traditional, or overly religious, it probably seems odd to them if a woman doesn't change her name after marriage. But that is really their issue, not yours.

I changed my name when my husband and I married. I was not attached to my maiden name, and in all honesty, was happy to be rid of it (very poor relationship with my father).

Yes, the DMV, SS office, insurance, work, bank...all of that was a headache to be sure. For me though, it was all worth it to be rid of my maiden name.
It was also kind of the final cementing "Yay! We're married!" thing for me. And it certainly makes insurance, banking, and credit cards easier since we have the same name.

I totally understand not wanting to change yours. Had I not had so much negativity associated with mine, I might have kept it!

I think it is great that we feel that it is our choice whether we change our name or not. So many people don't even consider it as an option. I kept my own name after I married, for me my last name has been a part of who I am for so long and is a link to my own family and I didn't want to lose that. My husband didn't have a problem and sometimes I get called Mrs ...., but other times he gets called Mr F. We just laugh about the assumption out there that we must have the same name.

I changed my name to his in lieu of getting a paper marriage as a compromise. I changed my name in my county, and never got around to going to DMV or SS and it's been 2 years. Oops.

Hi. In my country (Italy) when you get married you keep your last name. There's no way to get your husband's one.
If you want to change, you have to take the same procedure you should take if you want a totally new name, and it's hard.
It's very strange for me to hear about the problem "keep my name or not" because I've never met someone with her husband's name!
Maybe the correct way is to let everyone free to decide what to do. (sorry for my bad english) Have a nice day!