I wrote a blog post about this very topic. I came up with a 3 prong theory. The first two theories as to why our decision to be childfree meets with such a negative reaction is: 1. Misery Loves Company and 2. "Why didn't I think of that?"

http://childfreedom.blogspot.c...

And then, after giving more thought to the subject, I came up with a third prong to this theory: 3. The Persecution Complex

http://childfreedom.blogspot.c...

The way I see it, if we focus on enjoying our DINKlife, we'll radiate happiness to those around us, including those that challenge our choices.

We have a unique opportunity to be awesome role models to young people coming up, showing them that taking your time to have kids or not having them at all is a valid choice, and to enjoy that time and ignore those that take issue with it.

Brett - your post intrigued me the most, mainly because we don't hear from guys as much on this issue. Be honest, do you think among your guy friends, that if they had found their way to women with a desire to be "childfree", that they would have been completely ok with that? I suspect the answer is yes. I do know a few guys that LOVE being parents, and I think that's cool too, but so many of my guy friends just dump the whole responsibility on the mom and eventually morph into being "one of the kids" in the family too (as evidenced by their behavior).

My wife and I are CFC and are 100% like minded about it. We talked about it before getting married, and still chat about it from time to time. Another thing we do agree on is that the notion (in a kind of romantic sense) of having children together is appealing, but just not a reality that we want. That primal, physical desire to have a child is there, and I love being in touch with it at times. I can't speak for any other DINK guy out there, but I know that when I make love to my wife, part of me WANTS to get her pregnant. It's a nice turn on, but at the end of the day I don't have to send anyone to college! :-)

Some childfree people never had a desire to have kids and resent it when parents say things like "you'll want one someday". But I for one do feel that primal, physical desire to have a child which is different than a sexual desire. When I'm with my guy part of me does want to get pregnant. But at the end of the day I don't have to deal with a post-baby body or a screaming infant. The reality of having a baby is very different than what's in your head in the throes of passion. If more people realized that we wouldn't have half as many kids.

Well said, Cory Jones.
And I think the jealousy and resentment is very present. Many of my girl friends have either married or had children (I'm 24), and they seem to be pretty unhappy with it. Not necessarily because they didn't want to be married or have children, but because they rushed into it, and expected something totally different.
Sometimes I can hear the passive aggressiveness in their comments. Most of the time I try to be understanding, but I think it's important not to apologize for making my decisions.

Amanda - Your post is interesting. I am now 44 but was married at 23. I was able to keep close with my female, childed friends while their children were very young. It was when their children got older that I believe the resentment really started. It was unexpected, and I actually got more of the passive-agressive stuff as the years went by. Due to that I am almost completely done with having childed friends actively in my life. I do have older friends who are grandparents, single friends, and friends younger (since i am very physically active). But now, in this age group where I find myself, very few friends my own age. It has been an interesting journey.

I don't understand how anyone could be passive agressive when they too could have made the same choice! It's not as though being CFC is a choice reserved for only the rich and powerful for god's sake! If you have sex use several forms of contraception, still not enough? toss in the morning after pill. Got tipsy and had unprotected sex and got pregnant? Awoman has the right to choose! What is it with people being agressive against CFCs????

Dawn J -
Hey now - don't be talkin' smack about Sponge Bob! Lol!

Of course I agree with you all--don't even get me started--I'm sorry but I can tolerate very few people who are parents (whether their kids are with them or not). It's like I didn't want to be a doctor much like I don't want to be a mother--not a profession I choose! OMG I HATE when people act like having kids is something you HAVE to do....ugh!